Life in the crocked lane

It's been a hell of a fucking week.......

So tell us about the week

Sometimes you need to use the 'f word' because it's the best way to emphasise the absolute crap you've gone through.

My doctor referred me for an MRI on Friday and I tried to book one online, patience not being my strong point. I didn't get any appointment in the post (why are we still stuck in the dark ages?!?) on Tuesday so I rang them to see what the craic was. TWO to THREE week wait. I was actually shocked by this. To me an MRI is like an X-ray, in and out, no doctor needed to be seen, someone just reviews them. I asked what the wait was for their other locations, Limerick is 6 to 8 weeks!!!!!! I could go on about how crap our health service is, but.....that will come later! I put myself on the cancellation list but didn't hold out any hope, who cancels an MRI? BUT, I was in luck, about time I had some good luck. I got a phone call from that about an hour later, I got a cancellation for later that day!

Some of you may not follow me on Instagram, but I had a picture up of me heading in for my MRI all smiles. Wahoo maybe I'll get some answers, a diagnosis. I filled out forms and waited. I thought, I might even get a quick nap in this, because I won't be keeping my eyes open in this claustrophobic machine, I've watched enough of Greys Anatomy. I had a funny moment with the hospital gown and had a little giggle to myself, Kevin (my bestie) will laugh at this later. That was the last laugh or smile I had. In Greys Anatomy they never show anyone in excruciating pain in the MRI machine, so that was not expected. My back hadn't been that sore, it had all been my legs so I wasn't expecting it to be EXCRUCIATING to lie there for 15 mins. Let me tell you, 15 mins is a long time when you are shaking with the pain and trying your best to stay still and trying to breathe. I don't think I have ever felt that much pain before. When he took me out of the machine and I slowly got to an upright position he asked me if I was ok and I could not answer. I was in so much agony. I can't even put in to words how much pain I was in. When I was 10 I broke my elbow and ran up to the toilet before I cried, so I have a pretty high threshold when it comes to pain. When I got changed the tears were streaking down my eyes. I got back to my car, very, very slowly and sat there. I went back on to Instagram to tell of my sorry tale. It's important to show the good and the bad to show real life. No one goes through life unscathed. 

Right before the Doc rang

Wednesday I rang my GPs as I needed a new cert and to see if he got my MRI. I made one of my epically large cups of tea and was sitting out watching the animals and soaking up the sunshine. He rang me back and explained the MRI to me. It pretty much went over my head with the names of vertebrae and medical terms. Essentially I have a fuck off massive disc protruding in my back which is hitting a nerve and I needed to go to A & E UCHG to get looked at by Orthopaedics. If I didn't go via A & E I could be waiting for years for an appointment. Again, our health system.......

So I packed some bags in case they kept me in. On route I was texting one of my best friends who is also a doctor. Orla mentioned to me that they may have to operate. STOP THE LIGHTS. What? Sorry, what? An operation?? On. My. Back. I had a little freak attack. Silently, as there was no way I was going to make Dad more worried. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Back operations can go wrong. What if they paralysed me? Oh sweet jesus. Anyway, like most freak attacks, the rational went out to the window. I remembered the doctor said the disc was below my spinal chord, so that was good. Once I had my little freak attack, I was prepared for the suggestion of an operation. 

Thankfully it was a beautiful day, because you have to be assessed by a nurse before you enter the A & E building. That was a pain in the ass for someone like me who couldn't really stand or walk for very long, but I sucked it up. I have no idea how long I was waiting in there. The triage nurse assessed me and put me on the ortho list and said she'd get a porter to bring me. 

Whilst on route to Galway I realised I'd forgotten headphones. I wanted them to listen to my phone and if I was going to be admitted I wanted to watch the Kentucky horse trials on Horse & Country. Luckily Serena came to my rescue and grabbed a set for me and a goodie bag. She arrived just as the porter did. So I hobbled over to her, said a quick thank you and 'rushed' off (lol, I couldn't rush anymore than Donnolly could fix the HSE!). 

I got to the ortho section to another waiting room. I had a quick meet with a nurse and then she said she'd get the doctor. So back out to the waiting room, dragging all my stuff ( I also brought a cushion with me, best idea ever!). Back in then after some time to meet the doctor. He checked my legs and their strength and my spine. Then back to the waiting area to wait to see the surgeon. The surgeon checked me over and seemed happy enough to send me home but said he'd have a look at my MRI. So back out to the waiting area. Then the surgeon came back. Surgeon: "you have a massive bulging disc", the eyes nearly popping out of his head. Mise: " yeah, yeah, believe me, I know". Surgeon: "I'll have to get my boss to look and see what he thinks". Back to the waiting area again. Boss surgeon: "I'd let you home, but I cannot unsee what I saw on your MRI". Me, hmmm starting to think they feel like I shouldn't be able to walk. He said he wanted me to see the spinal specialist and he'd be in on Thursday. He was going to admit me because if he let me go home, I'd go to the back of the list and god knows when I'd get seen ( ah what a wonderful health system we have). So I was being admitted. I rang Dad to tell him. I'd left my main bags with him because I didn't want to be dragging them around the place. I told him to leave them at reception. Then to rub salt in the wounds of this whole nightmare they Covid tested me (I'm joking, I know it was important to get tested). I managed the whole Pandemic till now to never get tested. Sweet jesus that was a shock to the system. The nurse put it in my mouth and then shoved it up my nose and left. My eyes were in bits. Still, it wasn't as bad as the MRI. 

I stayed on that bed for a while in the treatment room. Eventually I got moved to another treatment room that they were using as a makeshift ward room, with two beds. I read there for awhile and then eventually knocked off the light to try and sleep. The man in the bed next to me was hooked up to some machine that made a lot of noise, so it wasn't easy to sleep. Eventually I fell in to this weird sleep paralysis where my body was completely frozen but my mind was somewhat conscious. At 12.30 a nurse woke me up and frightened the beejesus out of me. I was being moved to a ward. A porter wheeled me along and we nearly crashed in to a porter coming the opposite way with a trolley. Now that would be some way to top of the day, lol.

Post Covid test

I ended up in St. Finbarr's and the nurse was lovely. God help her she had some night of it. I think there was 5 beds in that ward. The woman next to me constantly got up to go to the toilet but was told she was supposed to call a nurse. Every time she did it they'd have that argument. Then she kept shouting over to the woman across the way and she kept shouting back. I was thinking of other uses for that cushion I brought with me.....there wasn't much sleep had that night. The next day then I heard the same woman ask someone where the toilet was!!!!!!!! Not only this, but instead of using the remote with the call nurse button, she used her voice instead.

NURSE, NURSEEEE, NURRRRRRRRRRRRRSEEEEEEEEEE. 

Every. Single. Time. 

I was going nuts. I silently thanked Serena for those headphones because I slept with them in and with Spotify playing all night.

I was expecting to see the spinal specialist the next day but hadn't heard a tap. I asked a nurse around 3 what the story was. She said she'd find out. Eventually I was told he wasn't in until tomorrow. Deep breaths........deep breaths. That night one of his minions came to me to explain the operation. I asked her how the slipped disc happened. She said it could have happened easily enough, just reaching over in the gym or something. I was pretty dubious that I could get such a large prolapsed disc by something so simple. Whilst talking to her I realised though that this has been coming on for quite a while. The tightness I was feeling in my legs was the disc. So the pandemic has screwed me by not allowing masseurs to be open, cos normally I would have a deep tissue massage and that would sort me out.

I ordered scrambled eggs Thursday morning. What was I thinking?? I don't think I was to be honest. They were exactly as you would expect. Pure rubber. I'd say if you threw them at a wall they'd stick. Thursday was spent watching the Kentucky horse trials on my laptop. Thankfully I decided to bring it with me, I figured people weren't being allowed in to the hospital so it was less likely it would be stolen (and it wasn't). I napped throughout the day because you get tired from doing nothing. I also brought my colouring book and markers with me. If you don't do colouring, get on it. It is such a brilliant stress reliever and so easy to do, especially when reading is hard because of your surroundings or the drugs you're on. That night I went old school and watched Grosse Point Blank, great film. I had to fast from 12 so I ate all the crap........ALL THE CRAP.

Friday I was expecting to see the spinal specialist first thing on his rounds, but it was actually late morning. He came with his minions and announced he'd be doing a nerve block injection. Huh, what.....A while later one of his minions came back with the consent form. I still wasn't sure what exactly it was I was signing up too but he didn't look like he knew much. I asked him if I had to stay fasting and he said oh, not sure, probably best you do 😐 I watched some more of the dressage and napped. At one stage I woke up and yer wan beside me was singing. This was not a time to be awake.

That afternoon a nurse dropped in a hospital gown for me to change into. The pain had gotten a lot worse. Both legs were now sore. Nothing was comfortable. I had asked for better pain meds as what they had been giving me made no difference. I landed in the theatre waiting area and I was not a happy camper. It was now half 3 and I had been fasting since midnight. I don't know if the food helped me deal with the pain or the pain had gotten worse. I asked the nurse to send someone out to me to explain this nerve block injection because I didn't know what it was and what was happening. There was nothing there to distract from the pain so I read my chart. Apparently I have a massive prolapsed disc, another disc has a tear and mild scoliosis. I'm sorry, what. Mild scoliosis???

Eventually the surgeon came out to me. He was so nice and helpful.........oh no, sorry, that's how I thought he would be. Instead he seemed disgusted that I was questioning him. I didn't give a damn. I was upset and hungry. Once I knew what it was it was fine. I was getting a steroid injection with local anaesthetic. I couldn't believe I wasn't being knocked out. The needle went in and once it was out, he asked me if I had any relief. It was almost as if he didn't believe me when I said no. The tears were streaming because of the pain, the hunger and the situation. I was moved back on to my hospital bed and again asked if I felt any relief. Again my answer was no. He seemed to think it was a failure so that wasn't exactly comforting. I was fuming. It didn't even bloody work. I was so upset.

When I got back to the ward the nurse asked if I'd like tea and toast, and although I was thinking they're the worst cups of tea here, I said yes, anything. Luckily, I still had some of Serena's lucky dip snack bag, because that nurse never came back. 40 mins later the dinner service came. I had text Mam to say I was being discharged. I ate and got dressed and gathered my stuff. Let me tell you, getting dressed with a prolapsed disc is no mean feat. Getting your feet in to the trouser leg feels like precision engineering. The doctor came around to discharge me and I asked him for better painkillers. A while later I got my prescription and that was my queue to hit the road. The nurses started to strip my bed while I was still there so I had to sit on the chair. I got the call to say mam was there and got a wheelchair taxi to the front door. I was delighted to be out. Imagine sleeping in a room by yourself, honestly, appreciate the little things.

On route home we stopped off at the local chipper. Proper chip shop chips. It was a feast of fried food and it was everything I wanted and more. Also something to celebrate Mam & Dads 48th wedding anniversary!!

On Saturday Dad got me my cocktail of drugs and boy were they strong. They made me a little woozy at times. I didn't manage to get dressed on Saturday. I was too wrecked. I sat and watched the cross country for hours. I was able to collect the eggs and feed the animals. That was the most I did.

On Sunday I managed to shower and get dressed. Double win! It's amazing how human you can feel after a shower. Now brushing my hair was beyond me. That could wait for another day. Who was going to see me? Kevin could curse me from afar (bestie is also my hairdresser). The pain was minimal. I was comfortable.

On Monday it felt like the drugs were starting to wear off a bit. I had a few niggles, nothing major but enough to be noticeable.

On Tuesday, it was a bit more. I had a visit from my other doctor friend which was nice. I'm not driving on these drugs because of how strong they are. 

I may still need surgery. I won't see the specialist again till July. Between now and then I intend on becoming the Queen of yoga and pilates. I'll also start physio to set me on the road to recovery. It feels weird to say recovery knowing I haven't had a fall or a crash or an illness, but I need to acknowledge that it is a recovery process. 

I'd like to thank everyone who has been in touch, from Orla and Ailene who have answered all my medical questions and fears, Lyndsey who dropped in the most delicious muffins, to everyone who offered to help out with the horses and animals. Ye are all much appreciated and I'm delighted to be able to call ye friends.

I guess this ould blog is gonna become a comeback/recovery one now, because unfortunately I won't be able to ride for a while.